If you are deciding what to tell a child about a parent being in prison, the people to ask are NICCO, Barnardo's, Pact and the Prisoners' Families Helpline. They do this work specifically, and they are free to contact. This page does not tell you what to say. It sets out the practical facts about contact in England and Wales.
The facts are the part that can be written down: what visits and calls involve, and one thing about prison phone calls that families are often not told until it happens.
Who should you actually ask?
Four organisations, all free, working with families in England and Wales.
The Prisoners' Families Helpline is a free national helpline for families. It is run by Pact, the Prison Advice and Care Trust, a national charity that also provides family support around visits. NICCO is the national network for children of prisoners, and its work is aimed at the professionals around a child as well as at families. Barnardo's runs dedicated support for children with a parent in prison.
If you take one thing from this page, take those four links. The rest is the practical detail underneath them.
How can a child stay in contact with a parent in prison?
In England and Wales the routes are all published, and each has its own rules. A child can go on the prisoner's visitor list: a convicted prisoner is usually allowed at least two 1-hour visits every 4 weeks, and someone on remand is allowed three 1-hour visits a week (GOV.UK, Visiting someone in prison). Family day visits also exist, but they cannot be booked through the online service — you have to ring the prison. Secure video calls run in some prisons, last up to 30 minutes, and a prisoner is allowed 1 free video call a month; the person who books must be over 18 and on the list, and may invite up to 3 other people of any age if they are on the visitor list too. Letters have no normal limit on how many you can send, and most letters to and from prison are checked by staff (GOV.UK, Staying in touch with someone in prison).
Side by side, the routes differ mainly in who starts them and how long the wait is.
| route | what it involves | published limits |
|---|---|---|
| Social visit | Booked online, once the prisoner has added the visitor to their list | Two 1-hour visits every 4 weeks convicted; three a week on remand |
| Family day visit | Ring the prison — not bookable online | Set by the individual prison |
| Secure video call | App on your own phone or tablet; staff schedule it | Up to 30 minutes; 1 free a month; booker over 18; up to 3 others of any age |
| Letter | Send it whenever you like; prisoner number on the envelope | Normally no limit; most letters checked by staff |
You cannot add a child to a visit yourself. The person in prison adds visitors to their own list, and nothing can be booked until that has happened, which is where most of the delay comes from. There is more in our guide to how prison visits are booked and how many there are, and on the order of the first week in what the first few days after someone goes into prison involve.
There is also Email a Prisoner, a separate service costing 40p a message. Staff print it out and hand it over, and in some prisons the person can reply and attach a photo.
What happens if a child answers the phone?
Every call from a prison in England and Wales starts with a recorded message, before the person speaks. It has been in use since 25 April 2022 and plays every time. The words are: "This call is from a person currently in a prison in England/Wales. All calls are logged and recorded and may be listened to by a member of Prison staff. If you do not wish to accept this call, please hang up now." It runs about 20 seconds in England, about 40 in Wales, where it is repeated in Welsh.
Whoever picks up the handset hears it. The Prisoners' Families Helpline puts the position plainly: "It will not be possible to turn the service off for individual numbers." A child who answers will hear that the call is from a prison, and no setting changes that for one number.
The Helpline's own suggestion is that an adult answers first, or that everyone in the household knows. If a child has not been told, NICCO and the Prisoners' Families Helpline are the two places to take that decision (Prisoners' Families Helpline, 12 April 2022).
One smaller detail families ask about: the caller is not charged until the message finishes, so those seconds do not come out of their credit.
When will the call come, and can a child ring back?
Calls come at times set by the prison, not by the person in it. PSI 49/2011 says the time available on the phone "must not normally be less than two hours each day", during association and at other reasonably practicable times. The schedule follows the prison's working day and is set centrally within each establishment, which is why the hours differ from prison to prison (PSI 49/2011, re-issued 27 August 2026).
The other half of the answer is that nobody can ring in. The same document is explicit: "The PINphone system does not accept incoming calls." A child cannot ring a parent back, and a missed call cannot be returned.
Calls are short, and several people often want to speak. Our post on what to talk about on a prison phone call covers how families split the time.
Should the school know?
This is a decision, not a rule, and it is one of the things the organisations above will talk through with you. Many families do tell the school. Nothing obliges you to.
NICCO is the national network for children of prisoners, and its material is written for the professionals around a child as well as for families. If a teacher asks where to look, that is the place to send them.
Frequently asked questions
These are the questions families in England and Wales ask most often about children and contact.
Can a child visit a parent in prison?
Yes, if the person in prison has added them to their visitor list. Visits are booked through the GOV.UK service, and you need dates of birth for everyone visiting, the prison number and the prison location. Being added to the list can take up to 2 weeks.
Can a child be on a secure video call?
A child can join one. The person who books must be over 18 and on the list, and may invite up to 3 other people of any age from the visitor list. Video calls run in some prisons only, last up to 30 minutes, and a prisoner gets 1 free a month. All of them are recorded, and staff may watch while they happen.
Will a child hear that the call is from a prison?
If they answer the phone, yes. The message plays at the start of every call and, in the Helpline's words, "it will not be possible to turn the service off for individual numbers". An adult answering first is the option the Helpline itself suggests.
Can a child write to a parent in prison?
Yes. Normally there is no limit on how many letters you can send. Put the prisoner number on the envelope. Most letters are checked by staff, and if they are not arriving, GOV.UK says to complain to the prison.
Who can I talk to about what to say?
The Prisoners' Families Helpline, run by Pact, is free and national. NICCO and Barnardo's both work specifically with children who have a parent in prison. Any of them is a reasonable first call.
The facts on this page are the straightforward part; the rest is a conversation to have with someone who has it every week.